When does it get better?

 

My mom and I spent a long time on the phone this morning because I think we are all slightly flummoxed by the less than favorable outcomes of my last two surgeries.  The goal at the beginning of this summer was to get my bowels taken care of so that I would not constantly be in the hospital with bowel obstructions and then one additional surgery to take care of one of my reconstructed breasts that is oh so pitifully painful.  As you can tell, things NEVER go according to my plan.

Yes, this is actually what I do!

After I had the bowel resection/lysis of adhesions I finally felt great but had to IMMEDIATELY address the issue of the “big ugly ovary”, it has been removed.  Since the second surgery I have been miserable with a lung infection that will not go away and the issues with my stomach continue to be a nuisance.  I had not planned on being back on a soft food diet so soon, but here I am…unable to eat regular food again.

So, after two major surgeries that happened and two minor surgeries that got cancelled (one for my bladder and one for my boob) I am officially unable to keep up with the following daily activities in my life: eating solid food, peeing, pooping, breathing, and having a pain free chest.  HMMMM….this is probably not great.

My pulmonology appointment got changed due to Frankenstorm Sandy and I cannot get back in to see him until late next week.  I kept explaining to his scheduling secretary that I needed to see him this week to get a better nebulizer or inhaler as I had a 50 Kilometer race this weekend.  She kept trying to tell me not to run…let’s repeat that for the folks in the back row, SHE kept TRYING to tell ME, NOT to RUN???!!!???



There will be lots of running, which is basically the same thing!


Needless to say my response did not win me any star patient points nor did it get my appointment moved up to this week.

So THIS is the crux of my rant…

Why is it that if I were to lay down on the sofa and say “I can’t breathe fix me” I would get seen in under a week but when I run everyday while coughing up handfuls of bloody mucous I cannot get an appointment?  If I really wanted to see the pulmonologist it seems the perfect plan would be to take up smoking again and do a lot of not moving to get my lungs good and goopy.

Or the lady at Aetna who continuously explains that they will not cover orthotics for my shoes unless I have a diagnosis of diabetes, I’m sorry Aetna lady but my healthy diet and continuous exercise are specifically designed to combat my hereditary predisposition to diabetes and heart disease (FREAK), obviously my badass healthy diet and exercise did not work on the myriad of other genetic health issues I have but I do what I can where I can.

When the Aetna lady won't stop talking...

My abdominal surgeon is another funny one, after my surgery he was AMAZED by my ability to heal so quickly (practice makes perfect sir), but also by how much of a BEAST I am.  He said I had six internal hernias that would have sent any one of his patients crying to the emergency room but I only showed up when I had an out and out bowel obstruction (there were no false alarms or maybes when I finally would get to the ER, I was always MESSED UP).  He kept asking me what I was doing for pain control that whole time since I refused to take pain meds (honestly I don’t take them because I cannot run when I’m on them…I’ve tried, they make me run slow and stumbly), I was all an a$$hat… “I don’t know Dr. I guess I’d just go for a run or something when I was in pain.”  Given his reaction to that statement, I think he is still kind of laughing about it a little bit.

My general concern is that as a community and a nation we preach exercise and nutrition but our healthcare industry does not cater to those who follow this ideology.  (Life insurance companies certainly do, so we know that it IS in fact possible to identify and monetarily quantify risk factors and behaviors.) 

Given the state of healthcare today, we may as well. 
It's actually the only way we'll get an appointment.

So, any bets as to what I get dealt next?  I’m kind of afraid and might just sleep with two eyes open…

Have you ever been put down for exercising too much?

Eating too healthy?

Do you feel like we cater to those who lead an unhealthy lifestyle and just expect the exercisers to stay healthy?

 

Eastern Divide Ultra--50K Race Report

Eastern Divide Ultra

June 23, 2012
50K
Start:               Cascades National Recreation Trail, Pembroke, VA
Finish:             Mountain Lake Resort, Giles County, VA

When I first saw this race advertised I knew I was going to do it.  It was minutes from my parent’s home in Wytheville, VA and “on our way” to the beach.  Additionally it met a lot of things on my favorites list for races: mostly trail, a point to point race, a small field (200 runners), 50K, and it was its first year.  I know a lot of runners do not care for first year races because there are always a few kinks to work out, but since I am still new to the sport I can find the humor in them and just enjoy the run (I am aware I will most likely join the ranks of the wildly furious at some point in my running career, but for now it’s about the adventure).

I read through the course description many times and at some point I really should have become concerned about my limited ability and some of the arduous sounding adjectives used to describe the course, but I just thought they were trying to tout the race as really challenging.  Looking at the pictures on the website you saw images of flat beautiful trails through the shady trees, rambling creeks and a peaceful waterfall, nirvana.  The description however used phrases like “two mile climb”, “if your legs are still your friend”, “this section will just rest your legs for what’s to come”, and more….I should have gotten nervous but thought, ‘oh it’s just being dramatic’, I mean you should see the really pretty waterfall picture (which they failed to mention is about ½ way to the top of a really tall MOUNTAIN).

Pretty waterfall...what a freaking climb.

Most of the runners stayed at the Mountain Lake Conservancy in Pembroke, VA where many scenes from Dirty Dancing were filmed….although this an iconic movie for my generation I was just excited to have a date night with my husband and a fun race to look forward to in the morning.  There was a complimentary spaghetti dinner the night before where we got to meet some of the runners but the food was beyond BLAH.  Plan ahead if you want something more palatable.

In the morning the busses began departing for the starting line at 6:00 a.m. for a 7:30 a.m. start time, it was about 20 + minutes away but it gave everyone a chance to adjust their equipment and get a chance to mentally prepare for the race.  We started our FIRST mountain climb which lasted over 2 ½ miles.  It was INSANE, by the time I got to the top I was certain my Achilles was going to pop (by that I really do mean both), after a ¼ mile flat we basically began climbing slate steps for another 2 ¼ miles before reaching Aide Station one. At the top I checked my Garmin (and I do not think there were any solar bursts) and I had already ascended about 4000 feet.  WOW. 

Nice little climb after the water fall...yummy on
your hamstrings.

 The race continued along fire roads and some packed gravel areas but there were also just a lot of nice trails to run along.  Everyone, especially the volunteers and many ambulance crews were so incredibly nice and the other runners seemed to be just like me, they obviously loved the sport wand were out for a great run.  My quads began to mildly forgive me during miles 6-17 where although the ascent clearly topped the descent there were some fairly flat areas and even a few down hills, WHOOP! 

Although not the longest, one of the very steepest climbs went from miles 18 to 20.  The cheering crowd at the aide station made sure to point out to me that I was the FIRST one to still be actually running at this point (I have should have probably tattooed the word “energy” across my forehead).  After a few cartwheels and a sampling (read pocketful) of my new FAVORITE electrolyte replacement, Electro Delytes (these are easier on the belly than water and I am TOTALLY going to endorse them, I even kind of credit my awesome hand carved award to them), I rolled out of Aide Station 4 with a smile on my face.



The trails look nice and flat...
turn left ahead and climb a mountain suckers.

For some reason we were STILL CLIMBING, descending occasionally but at least the climbing portions were calm compared to what we had been through thus far.  At aide station 5 they had the motherload of snacks and happy runner food.  I loaded up….and again cartwheeled out because I am that kind of energetic (in my hot pink socks and matching running skirt for those of you who have not seen my running attire…it has flair if nothing else) and continued on my merry little way…with a smile of course. 



Luckily I had found a runner about my speed and we were pacing each other on and off for about eight miles, unfortunately we paced ourselves right off the course for a solid ½ mile, which naturally took another ¾ - 1 mile to find our way back.  Back on track shortly before the last Aide Station we were officially tired!  We had ascended more than 12,220 feet during this race and only descended slightly more than 8,000 feet (the joy of the point to point race). The course description did not do the technical aspects of the final 2 ½ miles of this race justice, in fact it was the second most technical portion (outside of the slate steps after the waterfall).  It was rocky, narrow, and extremely hard to navigate.  I somehow escaped without falling, but I do believe I was one of the few…runners dripping lots of “red stuff” crossed the finish line that afternoon but few would tell you that it was not worth it.

Nothing like going off course during a race...

When finished, I was completely exhausted, invigorated, and ready to go again!  My time was 5:35:37 (including my extra 1 ½ mile detour) and I won Overall Female Master.  The four women who finished ahead of me were in their 20’s…so at least I can blame age (and navigational issues) on my slow finish….honestly, this is one of the few times where I sincerely believe that finishing on this type of terrain, in and of itself deserves a medal. 

I love my hand carved award...
totally worth it!

I highly recommend this as a destination race to all of you who enjoy a hearty challenge and a great trail run.  It was a lot of fun and hopefully you will not be taken aback by the amount of climbing like I was.  You WILL climb, but the scenery and the people are amazing.  If you like southwest Virginia it is certainly worth it!  Plus the hotel is family friendly and if your spouse and children join you there are a lot of fun games to play and family activities (Alice in Wonderland sized (when she is big) chess and checkers and even a heated pool.  Not to mention plenty of hiking and biking trails.  They even have a scene by scene walking tour of the Dirty Dancing movie scene shot areas.

Life sized chess.   Cool =)

If you’re looking for a destination race, a new challenge and a small running field this may be your happy place.  Go for it!


Are you going to run the Eastern Divide Ultra 2013?

Any questions for me?

Have you started practicing your hill (mountain work) yet? BWAHAHAHAHAHA....

Why do I run?

Why do I run?

Cherry Pit Ten Miler
One of my very best race days!

You would actually be surprised by how often I get this question and I never really have just one answer, it usually depends on what day you ask me and where I am in my training.

About seven years ago my sister Kim told me that she was going to run a marathon and I think my response was not your typical congratulatory cheer and shout of encouragement, in fact, it sounded *exactly* like, “What????  Are you stupid or something?  Did mom and dad drop you on your head as an infant and forget to mention it to the rest of us?” 

Clearly I am the bitchy sister.

Kim trained for and ran in many marathons, over time I became more supportive but was secretly cheering my obviously superior IQ (because really, 26.2 miles for fun, I mean that’s just asinine).

Then I got cancer…

Turns out I never ran because I had large (HUGE) breasts.  Deep down I knew that the four bras I had to wear for field hockey and teaching step aerobics dug deep into my shoulders, but I was in shape, I figured I could run if I wanted to, I just did not want to.  The only time I ran was when a team I was playing on lost…then I did laps.  Lots of boobie bouncing, shoulder blistering laps.

Back to the cancer. 

Overall Female Champion...Lucky Number!

After a double mastectomy and a huge breast reduction (I went from a duckpin bowling ball to about a tennis ball) I was very slow returning to my normal exercise regimen.  I was only allowed to walk and since I had a 7 month old baby girl, she took her morning and afternoon naps in the stroller.  I healed and progressed, eventually I was walking 12-16 miles each day.  Then I got bored, so I started jogging to one mailbox and walking to the next, as I continued to recover the walking portions became much shorter than the jogging portions.

After a year I was going for regular runs.  I still thought a marathon was a ridiculous distance and I was going to just stick to running 7-10 miles a day like any *sane* person would do.  My run became a very necessary part of my day, my personal time, I had been through a lot and needed the one thing a run always offered me, a quiet mind. 

Over time I began running with friends and they told me I was doing quite well but I never really thought about it as a sport, it was honestly my outlet, the only time I was not feeling scared and anxious.  I had not discovered the joy of wine and I had quit smoking years earlier.  It was literally my only vice (not a bad one, right?).

I had a friend encourage me to run the Cherry Blossom Miler in 2010 this was my very first race, I ran it in 1:22:16 and thought nothing of it.  I took it easy, enjoyed the course and loved being surrounded by people who loved running as much as I did.

Rock and Roll Marathon...enjoying my crazy!

The next weekend however I had an epiphany.  One of the biggest local races we have is the Run for Hospice and I chose to run the 10K, it was just for fun and the whole community is out for this amazing event.  The biggest surprise for me was finishing as the 2^nd overall female in the race (only 2^nd to my good friend who is one of the fastest female runners I have ever met).  At this point I decided to explore running as a sport rather than just my own personal happy place.

I have continued my running and expanded it in ways that at one time I thought were crazy (now I KNOW they’re crazy) I win some, I lose some, but I always learn a lot.  I know that I am happiest when I am running and that my sister had it all wrong, her mistake was in settling for a marathon.

Why on earth would you run a marathon when there are ULTRA MARATHONS?  This year I qualified for The Boston Marathon and will run it in April.  After that I plan to stick with the smaller, lower key events.  The kind or races where you meet the other runners and learn what their motivation is, how their life and running brought them to this place. 

Since beginning this journey (2 ½ years ago) I have run three 10Ks, two 10 milers, two ½ marathons, five marathons, four 50K’s, a few longer distances which just make me sound crazy, and too many 5K’s to count. 

Clearly I lost my marbles at some point but it is the one activity that keeps me grounded and is just for me.  I have found my happy place and I am going to run with it.

If you’re a runner, what’s your motivation?

Have you ever thought someone was crazy for doing something and then not only done the stupid thing, but loved it so much that you even took it to the next level of stupid?

My story...condensed



Me today, happy healthy and strong.

Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I was a survivor.
 

On October 1^st, 2007, we joyously welcomed our third daughter, Clara Elizabeth, into our family.  The C-section went smoothly and we were looking forward to a speedy recovery.  Things did not go as planned.  Sixty hours after her birth, barely alive, I was rushed into surgery to evacuate a massive retroperitoneal hemorrhage, so large it had displaced my kidneys and bladder and had even caused my lungs to collapse. 



Barely alive after multiple blood transfusions.  At least I'm off the ventilator!

I woke up in the ICU on a ventilator, 57 staples running from my chest all the way down, minus a uterus, and a long way from recovery.  My baby, along with my dreams of a large family went home two weeks before I did.  It took an amazing nurse, many generous blood donors, extremely supportive friends and family, and a lot of inner strength to begin healing.

This was the end of a long journey for my husband and me.  Our first daughter was born blind (our Amazing Grace who can now see), our second daughter was born asleep; we were blessed with Ella in our third pregnancy, but lost another daughter on our fourth try.  We were physically and mentally exhausted.

When Clara was 7 months old I decided it was time to get a physical, with a family history of breast cancer this always included a mammogram even though I was only 36. 
Obviously I would not be writing this essay if the results had come back clean and clear.  After 7 months of constant medical appointments dealing with the aftermath of a horrific birth experience I was about to fight for my life one more time and I was not sure I was prepared for battle.
In life it is so amazing how quickly our perspective can change. 

As I went through the normal battery of diagnostic testing we were thrilled at how BLESSED I was to have DCIS.  Since both of my breasts were scattered with DCIS coming to terms with a double mastectomy proved to be very difficult for me.  My breasts were how I fed and comforted my babies.  Clara was only 7 months old and I had just lost my uterus, could I really stand to lose all my female parts in under a year?  Would I ever feel like a woman again?  Would a love of shoes be all that separated me from the boys? 

Again, after almost dying in child birth and then getting a double mastectomy less than a year later I found myself proclaiming how BLESSED I was, negative nodes!!!!  Perspective is an amazing thing.

As I began to heal from yet another major surgery I started walking daily. Clara took her morning and afternoon naps in the stroller as I pushed my way back to health.  After several months I began jogging between mailboxes….this was a MIRACLE!  Having developed large breasts in the 6^th grade I had literally never been able to run, I could teach step aerobics and spinning all day long, but the repetitive motion of running was too hard on my breasts and back. 

As my body regained its muscular strength, I was regaining my inner strength.  I am a longtime group fitness instructor and have had the opportunity to help so many women as they heal from breast cancer treatments.  I am able to listen and relate to their struggles as I teach them to exercise slowly and safely.  Each time I get another survivor physically ready to return to their normal lives I feel like I have beaten cancer one more time.  Our minds heal so much more quickly when we are moving.

Our bodies can overcome so much and with enough work, passion and dedication it is possible to come back and be as strong as or even stronger than before.  We are often surrounded by people with excuses or an “I can’t” attitude, being a warrior against breast cancer shows us that obstacles are meant to hurdled, cleared or completely obliterated! 

Having never run before cancer, I have now completed five marathons (even qualifying for the Boston Marathon by ten minutes), many 50Ks, and other (even longer) distance races.  I was the first place survivor at the 5K Komen Race for the Cure in Maryland last year...tears of joy streaming down my face as I crossed the finish line, completely decked out in a pink tutu! 
 
Life is good and I am happy to say how incredibly BLESSED I have been! 

Perspective.

My husband Mike and three daughters were at the finish line when I qualified for Boston, these are my true blessings.